Sunday, January 25, 2009

Dear God

Dear God,

I want to be happy with my Job. Please help me like it. Please!

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Aging Gracefully

She's reached the Big 3 0. Thirty.

She never thought it would bother her, but reaching that age did. She didn't look her age and didn't act it either but just thinking of it and seeing it written on the piece of paper in front of her really bothered her.

She started to think of what she has done and accomplished in life and she really couldn't think of one thing that made her proud. She hated the fact that her whole life revolved around her work especially since she hated her place of work. The work it self didn't bother her so much, yet it wasn't something she thought she would be doing for the rest of her life. The thought of doing that same work day in and day out for the next 20 years left a tasteless feeling in her mouth.

Her looks was another matter that was upsetting her. She never used to look at herself in the mirror more than 15 minutes in the morning. Now she spends so much time looking at her face and looking at the wrinkles that are forming around her eyes she cringes. Her friend calls them "laughter lines" and claims they are beautiful lines. She however hated them and wanted to "botox them" away.

No, reaching the age of 30 was not something she is coping with gracefully. She knows she should be grateful for what she has but she always imagined her life differently, more glamorous, more exciting, more fulfilling and never this dull.

Is this mid life crisis she wonders?

Thursday, January 08, 2009

Sleepless in Kuwait - A Story

somewhere in Kuwait a sleepless girl is venting

"She can't sleep", she keeps thinking what's wrong with him, why is he acting distant and all weird. Is he really in just one of his moods or is he trying to slowly step back. She hated this relationship. They acted like they were a couple but of course he always just calls it friendship. "Your my friend" "Your the best friend I've ever had" and yet do " GUY FRIENDS" reach out to hold their "Friends" hands the whole time they hang out, do "GUY FRIENDS" want to hug their "Friend" every time they see each other and try to tease them with sexy words and gestures!.

"Whats wrong with him" she keeps thinking? she dreads they day he will tell her he is involved with someone else or even worse he is getting engaged to someone else. She is putting her life on hold just for him to say "I have feelings for you" or " I love you, and I've loved you for a while now", why wont he say it to her, why does he only show it and now he is not even doing that!

He doesn't call like he used to, he doesn't try to tease her as much as he did in the past. Something is going on but what she wonders. In times like these she wishes that she had the power to read his mind like a psychic or had some kind of sixth seance where she can feel what's going so she can understand and maybe able to breath a little easier.

His family is the problem, they just don't give him a break, always in his business in every little thing. She doesn't know how he puts up with it but she would have gone crazy by now and shot someone if her family was into her business this much.

She knows he cares for her, it's in his eyes every time he looks at her but that's not enough she wants to hear the words, she needs the confirmation even if there is no future for them she just needs to hear them oh how she would love to hear them.

she wonders what the future holds as she lays sleepless in Kuwait ....