Saturday, December 31, 2005

Letting Go

How do you let go of something you have wanted for so long that you’ve lived it, breathed it, and desired it for years that it has became part of every waking minute of your daily life. And you know without a doubt that you will never get this something but you also know that if you do let go you will never be the same person again and a certain part of you will die.

How do you let go of the hope and still survive.

Friday, December 23, 2005

بنات الرياض - Part 2

I just finished reading بنات الرياض. It’s a true story about four different girls from Saudi Arabia. It mainly illustrates each girl’s experience with love.

Sadeem’s story touched me the most. Feeras, the guy she was in love with seemed like a character from a fairy tale. Of course he turned out to be a week in the end, but the way he loved her in the beginning was so breathtaking. It made me wonder can men really love that way.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

بنات الرياض

I am at work reading بنات الرياض.
I can’t put the book down! I read 10 chapters in two hours (the chapters are short of course)

Friday, December 09, 2005

Going Back in Time - Help Wanted

I want to make a CD mix which contains music from the late 80s and 90s. Of course since I am not good at remembering song titles or even the singer’s names, this task is going to be difficult for me so I’d appreciate some help.

Can you guys tell me some of your favorite songs from the late 80s and 90’s or songs that were a hit back then.

So far I got (these were some of my fav.):
Cyndi Lauper : Girls Just Want to Have Fun & Time after Time
Jann Arden: Insensitive
Paula Abdul: Rush, Rush & Blowing Kisses in the Wind
Mariah Carey: Fantasy
Madonna: Like a Prayer & Take a Bow

Any suggestions are welcomed

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Co-Workers – My story

Dealing with people is always difficult, but when it comes to dealing with your co-workers whom you have to interact with on a daily bases for 8 hours straight, five times a week, that it self becomes a challenge.

You always hope that you will get along with everyone but sometimes you’re just not so lucky. In my case, I thank God I pretty much get along with everyone. Sure there are a couple of people at work I’d like to strangle but I believe that such people exist in any work place.

Recently however, I haven’t been so lucky. I had a disagreement with someone close to me at work. During the past year and a half this guy and I became really good friends. We shared a lot of dreams, hope, fears, and most importantly secrets.

I don’t regret telling him things that not many people know about me and I don’t regret getting close to him. Actually I miss him, I miss talking to him at work and joking and having the sense of security that I can share my work & privet life frustrations with someone from work without worrying that it will come back to haunt me one day.

The problem is during this disagreement, he said a lot of hurtful things to me. He accused me of not being a good friend, of treating people who care for me with disrespect. I was in a state of shock as I heard him speak. His words were like a slap across my face. All I could think of as he was talking is he for real! I don’t know what friendship means? Me who values friendship more than anything. I mean a lot of my really good friends are girls I’ve known since elementary school. Shouldn’t that at least count for something?

But even after this disagreement I decided I didn’t want to lose this guy as a friend, and so I decided to ignore all the hurtful things he said and continue being my normal self around him. That of course lasted for a day, because what he said to me next was just the icing on the cake. He actually had the nerve to come to my office the next day and tell me that he hopes I can keep all the secrets he told me to myself since a lot of the things he shared with me were so privet.

Again I was in the state of shock, but this time it was worse. I was so shocked I was speechless. I mean he knew the type of person I am, he knew that I was not the type of person who had a big mouth, and to be blabbering things to everyone I know!!! He knew I was probably the best secret keeper that he has ever known in his life!!!

My shock turned into ENRAGEMENT!

At that moment I decided I didn’t need this guy as a friend no longer. It dawned on me that he was the one that didn’t understand the concept of friendship, and he was the one that didn’t know how to value what he had in me as a friend.

It was that day I decided that my relationship with him was going to change. I decided that I was no longer going to take the five little steps I used to take everyday from my office to his anymore to say good morning. I decided that only saying hi, how are you will be the bases of our relationship and also the only communication that will be going on between him and me from now on. I hated him for a while!

However due to the fact that I am such a softi and this is one of my many faults. My hatred lasted for about three weeks and then I got over it. I got over hating him, and not over what he said to me. Of course just because I didn’t hate him anymore did not mean I was going to go back to how it used to be.

I know that he doesn’t understand why I am acting the way I am now because I am sorry to say this but some guys are just dense, and he just happens to be one of those guys.

It is sort of awkward when I bump into him at work because I really don’t know what to say or do anymore. And of course since it is only natural for him to act like a typical guy he has made the situation even worse because now he just tries to avoid me. Of course a lot of the things he does trying to avoid me makes me laugh and yet at the same time it hurts. I mean at the end of the day this guy was someone I was once so close too. As I said in the beginning I miss his friendship.

At times I say ok just be the better person and go and talk to him, but for some odd reason his words keep ringing in my head and I just can’t seem to get pass that.

I wish I knew what to do.