Sunday, November 21, 2010

Bad day

I am having a bad day. Came back from my trip yesterday. As soon as we landed, I felt it coming on. I need a happy pill thats it!.

and when night rolled around, it was full throtel, I couldn't breath, the thought of going back to work was suffecating me. I've never reached this point before where hate consumes every inch of my body for this work place. Its so weird though, the company is so unique and the people are not like others i've worked with, but its like i've been possessed to hate this place.

Going in today was painfull. I literally felt pain in my body going into the office. We had the eid breakfast and I didn't go down. I just wanted to be alone, I wanted to try to find away to breath again, but as soon as I opened my email it was over, the pressure was on and no way I could have switched the button off. Sometimes I hate who ever invented emails. I mean come on 500 emails in 2 weeks!

Actually lately I am going through this phase where I want to cut off all technolgical gadutes. I want to get rid of my blackberry, I feel like it has taken over my life. I hate the feeling that I have to check it every few minutes to see if i got any new msgs, and then I have friends who actually get upset with me for not replying to them in 5 minutes. For Gods sakes I do take showers that last more than 5 minutes, don't they realize that!

and as I recall there is a dail button so if its so urgent don't be sooo cheap to call and get the answer you need.

I am listning to Quran right now hoping it will help with this depresion I am going through. I know God is testing me and I just need to reach out to him to help me through this. I've been slacking off and this is just awake up call for me to get my stuff together with him. Its feels good to hear the words, they speak to my heart, and sooth me.

I just wish I could breath again without my heart being so heavy. God give me streangth, I need you tonight so much.


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