Thursday, December 08, 2005

Co-Workers – My story

Dealing with people is always difficult, but when it comes to dealing with your co-workers whom you have to interact with on a daily bases for 8 hours straight, five times a week, that it self becomes a challenge.

You always hope that you will get along with everyone but sometimes you’re just not so lucky. In my case, I thank God I pretty much get along with everyone. Sure there are a couple of people at work I’d like to strangle but I believe that such people exist in any work place.

Recently however, I haven’t been so lucky. I had a disagreement with someone close to me at work. During the past year and a half this guy and I became really good friends. We shared a lot of dreams, hope, fears, and most importantly secrets.

I don’t regret telling him things that not many people know about me and I don’t regret getting close to him. Actually I miss him, I miss talking to him at work and joking and having the sense of security that I can share my work & privet life frustrations with someone from work without worrying that it will come back to haunt me one day.

The problem is during this disagreement, he said a lot of hurtful things to me. He accused me of not being a good friend, of treating people who care for me with disrespect. I was in a state of shock as I heard him speak. His words were like a slap across my face. All I could think of as he was talking is he for real! I don’t know what friendship means? Me who values friendship more than anything. I mean a lot of my really good friends are girls I’ve known since elementary school. Shouldn’t that at least count for something?

But even after this disagreement I decided I didn’t want to lose this guy as a friend, and so I decided to ignore all the hurtful things he said and continue being my normal self around him. That of course lasted for a day, because what he said to me next was just the icing on the cake. He actually had the nerve to come to my office the next day and tell me that he hopes I can keep all the secrets he told me to myself since a lot of the things he shared with me were so privet.

Again I was in the state of shock, but this time it was worse. I was so shocked I was speechless. I mean he knew the type of person I am, he knew that I was not the type of person who had a big mouth, and to be blabbering things to everyone I know!!! He knew I was probably the best secret keeper that he has ever known in his life!!!

My shock turned into ENRAGEMENT!

At that moment I decided I didn’t need this guy as a friend no longer. It dawned on me that he was the one that didn’t understand the concept of friendship, and he was the one that didn’t know how to value what he had in me as a friend.

It was that day I decided that my relationship with him was going to change. I decided that I was no longer going to take the five little steps I used to take everyday from my office to his anymore to say good morning. I decided that only saying hi, how are you will be the bases of our relationship and also the only communication that will be going on between him and me from now on. I hated him for a while!

However due to the fact that I am such a softi and this is one of my many faults. My hatred lasted for about three weeks and then I got over it. I got over hating him, and not over what he said to me. Of course just because I didn’t hate him anymore did not mean I was going to go back to how it used to be.

I know that he doesn’t understand why I am acting the way I am now because I am sorry to say this but some guys are just dense, and he just happens to be one of those guys.

It is sort of awkward when I bump into him at work because I really don’t know what to say or do anymore. And of course since it is only natural for him to act like a typical guy he has made the situation even worse because now he just tries to avoid me. Of course a lot of the things he does trying to avoid me makes me laugh and yet at the same time it hurts. I mean at the end of the day this guy was someone I was once so close too. As I said in the beginning I miss his friendship.

At times I say ok just be the better person and go and talk to him, but for some odd reason his words keep ringing in my head and I just can’t seem to get pass that.

I wish I knew what to do.


At December 27, 2005 11:44 PM , Blogger Blue said...

Touching story...

I think you should ignore him and move on.

Dont be mean to him and treat him like you treat everyone else.

He must have his reasons for acting like that, but you should not care though. Atleast, dont care too much for him to know that you do care.

At December 28, 2005 6:08 PM , Blogger illusion said...


Thanks for your input. Just for an update. I did end up going and talking to him to trying to smooth things out since he is moving to another department and I just wanted to clear the air before he left.

However, I guess I must have said something to piss him off even more because now he doesn't even say hi to me when he sees me lol

All I can say is oh well :)

At December 29, 2005 7:40 PM , Blogger Bloo said...

hmm ... i can absoulutely relate to the whole process of co-worker interaction.. to be honest, i do believe co-workers should not be over estimated.. u think someone can be trust worthy.. but when thunder strikes.. its a whole new world ..

sometimes i wish i can start a blog only about work related issues.. bas 3ad aseer fethe7a:D

At December 29, 2005 9:42 PM , Blogger Blue said...


What do you say to him, that makes him pissed off?

let me be the judge :)

At December 31, 2005 11:42 AM , Blogger illusion said...

Yah Co-workers are overrated, but it’s really sad that you end up losing the one person at work that you could relate to the most because of something I don’t really quite understand till today.

As for a blog about work, well that sounds good to me I have a couple of people I’d love to rant about!

At December 31, 2005 11:53 AM , Blogger illusion said...


I told him that since the friendship between us was not something insignificant to me I wanted to come over and clear the air up before he left because I would like to part on good terms.

He then opened the subject again of what happened and I told him that the day he doubted my trust was the day I said this is enough. I told him trust is the foundation of any relationship and when it’s gone there is nothing left. Of course he said trust was just an element of our friendship and not the whole thing. To which I replied that’s your opinion and I respect it but I disagree.

We went back and forth for about half an hour and even at the end I told him even after all that has happened ana la7en a3azik as a friend. But I guess some things just can’t be fixed.

The weird part is I keep dreaming of him, and for someone who really believes that dreams mean something this is really freaking me out!


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